Hello, dear friends. Welcome back to our course, basic skills in constructive communication. Welcome to week number 4, about feedback. Feedback is a fundamental mechanism to steer the flow of any communication process, and even to impact human development. In our first video, we'll cover the question, how familiar are you with the concept of feedback? Let me tell you this. In many countries, I find that feedback is regarded any reaction to any action. Someone would ask you, "Would you get me the sugar." You would say, "Yes, I'd like to." This yes I'd like to is regard feedback. Of course, we may regard feedback in a very general way on general terms, but in our course, basic skills of constructive communication, of course, we have a look at feedback in the context of communication. In this case, feedback is a conscious and purposeful response to the words, phrases, to the behaviors and actions of a person. Then what are the specific goals of such a conscious and purposeful reaction to the words, phrases, and behaviors of a person. Number 1, we deliver or tell a person how his or her behavior is perceived. Doing so, we go for the second goal. We encourage a person to consciously compare the intention, so what he wanted to achieve with his behavior to those effects he has achieved in fact. Sometimes we would like to encourage some people, where we choose the wrong words, and it turns out that we not only didn't encourage people, but even frustrated people now, but we remember the blind spot of lesson number 2, week number 2. So sometimes we are not aware of the effects of our behavior. When we provide feedback, we make a person consciously comparing his behavior and the intentions, the goals that he wanted to achieve, he or she wanted to achieve with the behavior, to the real facts achieved. Number 3. In case a person wanted to achieve something with his behavior or her behavior but has achieved something completely different, you as the feedback giver might suggest an acceptable alternative behavior. Something like, "You wanted to encourage me to how to say be more attentive and listening, then next time, just tell me that you want to encourage me to be more attentive when listening to you." I can suggest an acceptable alternative behavior to the one that my interlocutor showed to me. Now, goal number 4. After we have offered an acceptable alternative behavior to the one that our interlocutor used to show us where it should somehow motivate him to really change his behavior, to stop doing some stuff and start doing some alternative behaviors, start implementing. We do motivate by showing the positive effects of the alternative behavior in case our interlocutor would start showing this alternative behavior and just say, "If you do like this, then the effects will be like that. I'd be satisfied, you would be satisfied, we would find common ground and would be much easier for us to go on solving problems, achieving targets, coordinating our actions," and so on and so forth. Last but not least, goal number 5. Whenever you provide feedback, try to raise, increase the self-esteem of a person and confidence in him or herself. Confidence that the change behavior would work to achieve other effects would really be working. The only difference so far about the goals of the basic skill in constructive communication, providing constructive feedback consciously, purposefully. Now, let's have a look on criticism and feedback. What are the differences of criticism and feedback? I need to say that in some countries, Russia, for example, people would regard providing feedback as criticism. Sometimes whenever they want to give feedback to someone else, then someone else would expect to be criticized. Of course, in our case, feedback and criticism are really completely different things, at least for two major reasons. One is intention of criticism versus intention of feedback. The other is time aspect. Now, let's have a look at the intention. What's the intention of criticism? Is to judge somebody, to condemn somebody, to say that you have done something that was completely wrong and in this case, you always show this bad behavior. So you really hit verbally, hit on the self-esteem of a person, you make this person smaller, less sufficient. Whereas feedback, once again, constructive feedback is a balanced feedback, it encourage, it first increases the intention of a person to his or her own behavior, and it helps the person to get more aware of the effects of this behavior of his or hers and to encourage the person to change this behavior, and you motivate why and what for a person should change this behavior. At the same time, you would of course, encourage this person to try that because you believe in him. This is about the intention. Now, the time aspect. Criticism it happens right now, and it's most likely related to the past. So you have done something two minutes ago that was wrong and you have done it two hours ago and two days ago, and two weeks, even two years ago, 20 years ago, you have always done it. Is only about in the past. What you have done in the past, you do it right now and it's bad. Let's say the time aspect in terms of feedback, in the narrow sense of the meaning of feedback, is of course, you refer to the past. You have seen something in the behavior of a person that you are providing feedback about, and you direct your feedback to the future, you encourage a person to try to change something about this behavior in the future and you encourage him to do it from right now on. Okay dear friends. To come to an end of our first video in week number 4, let me just tell you that in your handbook you will find a link to the so-called feedback proficiency test. We encourage you to check this test in order to find something out about yourself, about how you provide feedback. Okay dear friends. For the time being, thank you very much for your attention, your patience. See you next time.
