So, in this video, we're going to be talking about the differences between positional and principled bargaining. So far here's what we know. If we think about this whole module, we know how to identify communications styles and how to tweak our communication so that it's strategic. We know how to identify people's power motivations and how to tweak our communication so it addresses those motivations. We know all these different questions we can ask to get people's opinions point of views, to make them feel important, to get them talking to us, to getting to trust us, to moving them towards an outcome we want. The last element has a lot to do with how we negotiate what we want. Once we've done all of that, and we're in that place where the deal is made, and then that's about the details, which sometimes can kill the deal. In positional negotiation, we are arguing the surface outcomes. We're arguing the money, time, physical things. So for example, the amount of a raise. For example, working from home. For example, why we should go to A instead of B. In your personal life, why we should go to the vegetarian restaurant instead of the steak house. In principle negotiation, we're arguing the underneath. Why do you want the race? Why do you want to work from home? Why you want to go to a vegetarian restaurant? That is the fundamental difference and here is why it's important, because where we might disagree in positional bargaining, we might be able to find agreement in principled bargaining. Someone told me once and you've heard this all the time in politics, if we argue only this bill versus this bill, that law versus that law, this party versus that party, nine out of ten times we will disagree. But the more you talk with someone outside of those realms about why you are way more likely to find things you agree with. Let's look at an example, suppose we are arguing for a raise. We've already had the meeting and it was weird, it was uncomfortable and the decision of the meeting was well let's look into it a little bit more. Both you and the person you were speaking with probably left that meeting feeling unresolved, uncomfortable and it's going to be awkward now, right? But now you have an opportunity because you're going to keep going by email, listen, why don't I follow up with you? I'll ask the highers up and I'll follow up with you next week. What if you sent a message and the message said something like this, hey, I know that you wanted to get some more money because you feel like you're doing a lot of work for the organization right now. Do you feel like you're not being recognized for it? Chances are what are they going to say? They're going to say, yes, I'm doing the work of three people right now. So you feel like you're getting worked over and you're not being recognized for it. That's a foundation, a point of agreement that we can build from. Because maybe it's not the raise, maybe it's just feeling like you're working and nobody cares. Let's look at another example, and this is a funny one. Suppose there's an open window, and you and I are working in an office together. You open the window, because you want some fresh air, it's very stuffy in here. I am freezing, and I go close the window. You're looking at me like did you- I just opened that window. Yes, but I'm cold. Yes, but it's really stuffy in here, we need some fresh air. Yes, but I'm cold. Yes, but it's stuffy, we need some fresh air. That is positional; window opened, window closed. What if we started talking and said, okay, well why do you want the window open so bad? Because I can't breathe in here. I feel like it's super stuffy. Okay, well, I'm freezing. No, I get it. Yes, I know it's like when we open the window it gets super cold. Okay, well, is there- can we- is there anything else we could do, maybe? Like could we open the door? That might get some air flow in here. Then we go back to lesson three, with a strategic question, we make it an nudge. Could we try it for half an hour to see if it works and then we'll touch base? If you're still stuffy, maybe we open the window a crack and I move away from it? Sure. So let's look at it in a virtual perspective. You are on a regional team, everyone is in different time zones, but we're all selling the same thing, and you have someone that really wants to have a meeting. I think it's really important that we all touch base. I think it's really important that we all touch base I really want to talk to everyone. And everyone doesn't want to, because of the time zones, because they're busy and then we have this big email chain back and forth of people saying, well, do we have to have this meeting? What's the point of the meeting? Well, I think it's important to have a meeting, shouldn't we talk about things? Shouldn't we communicate? But does anyone stop and say, hey is there a reason you want to have the meeting specifically? Is something going on in your region that you need help with? Chances are, if someone is insisting on having a meeting or really wants to meet, it's because they have something underlining they need to get out to everybody. So suppose you say that, and the person is like, yes, I actually think I found a new way to increase sales. Let me give you an example from my personal life. I was organizing a conference, and the conference was with Ubisoft, which is a huge videogame designer and we were trying to get a bunch of their casting people, as well as their producers, in-house producers to come to sit on a panel. Also, there was someone else in our organizational group that wanted that panel to include a bunch of animation actors, and they really really wanted to have a meeting. I think it's important we have a meeting to touch base and communicate, make sure we're all on the same page. But there was nothing specific about that meeting, and everyone- we kept postponing it, because it's like 14 people on this panel by now, and no one could find a time to meet. We're spending all this time, well if we can't meet here, how about here? Well, maybe be one person can miss that weekend. It started getting really complicated. Then I went and I sent him an email, one on one and I said, hey, just out of curiosity, why do we want to have this meeting so bad? He wrote me back and says, I'm afraid that the voice actors are going to contradict and argue with all the producers and directors, because they're coming from totally opposite ends of the spectrum. Okay, so that's what we're afraid of, is there some way we can work this out? So we started talking the two of us back and forth over email saying, well, why don't we do this? Why don't we have one panel speak for half an hour, and then the other one speak for another half hour? That gives people enough time to listen to what everyone's saying and maybe tweak their messages. What if we send each person an individual email saying, FYI here's how to respond if someone says something you don't agree with. The guy is like, well, that might work? Then as I was like, well because you've been talking to all the actors and you were afraid that the actors are going to be the ones that disagree, do you want to chat with the actors and then I'll talk to the Ubisoft people? Okay, sure, and then we ended up not even needing to have the meeting. He went over to the actors, I went to the Ubisoft people and I said, we have a slight concern, we're afraid that we might disagree with each other, overlap or contradict one another. Is there anything we can do? What do you all think? Ubisoft people got back to me and said well, here's our four talking points that we wanted to talk about. I was like, oh, oh great. I sent it over to the other person, he sent it to the actors and the actor is like, oh great that we can talk about these four things then. And before we were done, we didn't need to have a meeting and we had a more solid idea of what the panel was going to discuss, and that was just for me sending one email saying, why are we having this meeting? What's on your mind? What's going on underneath? Instead of finding out and trying to figure out the position, we try to figure out the underlying principle behind the position. That's the difference between positional and principled bargaining.
